By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
If you’ve never taken a matatu, did you really visit Kenya?
Because matatus — Kenya’s iconic, chaotic, loud, and lovable minibuses — are more than just transportation.
They are nightclubs on wheels, Twitter threads in motion, and fashion shows in traffic.
What Is a Matatu?
Technically, a matatu is a 14- to 33-seater van that ferries people across cities, towns, and villages.
But really, it’s:
- A rolling art exhibit
- A mobile DJ booth
- A political commentary channel
- A moving chapel (complete with a praying conductor)
- And sometimes, a fast-paced thrill ride that would make Fast & Furious blush
Matatus are the original social media — long before TikTok, they were the feed. You could get the local gossip, sports score, motivational quote, sermon, and DJ set all before you reached your stop.
Paint Me Loud: The Culture of “Pimp My Ride”
Each matatu is custom-designed like a spaceship in an Afrofuturist dream. And no two are alike — ever.
Some themes you’ll find:
- Tupac and Biggie murals on the same vehicle (peace at last!)
- Avengers-themed buses with speakers louder than Iron Man’s repulsors
- Gospel verses on the back with a skull-faced Joker on the side
- Airbrushed portraits of Obama, Bob Marley, or your local bishop — often together
- LED lights so intense, they give Times Square an inferiority complex
Inside, you might find velvet seats, disco balls, mini screens, or even glowing floors. It’s a mobile club. A party on wheels. A parade through Nairobi’s potholes.
The louder, the bolder, the faster — the better.
And the names? “Blessed Bullet,” “Wapi Nduru,” “Matata Airlines,” “G.O.A.T Transit.” You’ll swear they’re rappers.
Soundtrack of the Streets
Forget silence.
A matatu comes with a full DJ experience.
- Reggae Mondays
- Gospel Tuesdays
- Gengetone Thursdays (not for the faint of heart)
- Afrobeats Fridays
- And random SoundCloud tracks that you’ll never find again
Bass so deep it reprograms your heartbeat.
Speakers so loud they can text your ex for you.
You don’t hear the matatu — it hears you.
If you board a quiet matatu, call your doctor. Something’s wrong.
VIP & Standing Room Only
Matatus come with unspoken seating codes.
- Front seat = high risk, high visibility, low legroom
- Middle seat = safest, unless you’re tall or allergic to elbows
- Back row = mystery. You may make a friend… or lose your wallet
Pro tip: if the conductor says “ingia haraka!” (enter quickly), prepare for crowd surfing. You’re no longer a person — you’re a puzzle piece.
Fun Facts & Street Lore
- Conductors can hang out of a moving bus, count change, flirt, and shout destinations — all at once.
- No two matatus have the same fare, speed, or braking philosophy.
- Some matatus have Wi-Fi, CCTV, and live TV (mostly showing Premier League or Nigerian movies).
- One ride can make you question your life choices, fall in love, or find Jesus.
- If you can’t find your matatu, follow the bass — or just ask someone. Everyone knows that one matatu with the neon green lights and the Wu-Tang logo.
- You might find a DJ booth where the glove box should be.
- Some routes even have themed matatus: “Black Panther” express, “Rihanna Rider,” and “DJ Khaled Gospel Van.”
Matatus = Business School
This isn’t chaos. It’s entrepreneurship.
Matatus are case studies on wheels.
- Owners treat them like branded startups
- Drivers act like F1 pilots
- Conductors are part-salesman, part-security, part-stand-up comedian
Every matatu is hustling. Every seat sold is a KPI.
No passengers? They’ll remix the route. Or bribe a traffic cop. Or offer a free ride just to fill up and flex.
Efficiency meets street smarts. And a whole lot of charisma.
Final Word: Ride or Run
Matatus aren’t just transport. They’re living, breathing symbols of Kenya’s pulse.
Noisy, stylish, unpredictable — and always moving forward.
You haven’t experienced Kenya until you’ve sat in a matatu next to a chicken in a basket, nodded to Burna Boy blasting from the roof, and watched the driver overtake five cars — in reverse.
Respect the culture.
Hold on tight.
And enjoy the ride.
Next up in Chapter Seven:
Kenya’s “Food Chronicles — From Street Corn to ‘Choma,’ It’s All Finger-Licking Hustle.”
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.