By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
By now, you’ve heard about the hustle.
You’ve met M-Pesa, and maybe you’ve paid for a goat with your phone.
Welcome to Chapter Three, where things get deeper — and somehow, even more colorful.
Because in Kenya, faith, fashion, and food aren’t separate lanes — they’re the three pillars of power.
Faith: Where God Is a Full-Time CEO
You haven’t done business in Kenya until someone ends a pitch with:
“Let’s trust God will open doors.”
Here, religion is not just personal — it’s operational.
From mega churches that look like tech campuses to pastors with Instagram reels and billboards, Kenya blends old-school spirituality with modern strategy.
- Churches are full at 6 a.m.
- “God First” is on business cards, boda boda helmets, and bank statements.
- You’ll see phrases like “Blessed Auto Spares” and “Jesus is My Lawyer Legal Firm.”
And let’s not forget the lunchtime crusades — where someone may literally cast out demons while you’re trying to eat your githeri.
Even public buses carry phrases like “The Blood of Jesus Covers This Matatu” — which is comforting until the driver turns into Vin Diesel.
It’s intense. But it works.
Because in Kenya, faith isn’t just belief — it’s business culture.
Fashion: Don’t Blink, You’ll Miss the Slay
Let’s be clear: Kenyans dress.
The office dress code? Sharp. Tailored. Intentional.
Even the matatu conductor will have cleaner shoes than you.
Walk into a café in Westlands, and you’ll think you crashed a runway show.
Bold prints. Perfect hair. Beaded earrings. Kitenge suits. Handmade leather bags.
Even Nairobi’s streetwear is ten steps ahead.
Forget Silicon Valley’s hoodies — Nairobi tech bros wear Ankara jackets and pitch investors between drip checks.
And don’t get me started on weddings.
You don’t attend a Kenyan wedding. You survive it.
There’s a WhatsApp group, a committee, three color codes, and at least one outfit change. And don’t even think about showing up in the wrong shade of emerald green.
Also, don’t underestimate the hair game — it’s a full-time job.
Wigs here deserve their own HR departments.
Food: Fried Goat & Stomach Joy
Let’s be honest — Nyama Choma deserves its own chapter.
It’s not just grilled meat. It’s community therapy.
Picture this:
Smoke in the air. Men arguing over football. Women taking selfies. Children sneaking soda.
Everyone sharing plates like it’s a spiritual ritual.
The goat? Crispy on the outside. Tender inside.
Served with kachumbari (tomato-onion salad) and ugali (a cornmeal block that requires biceps to cut).
No knives. No forks. Just hands, fire, and fellowship.
You don’t ask if the meat is ready. Someone just slices off a chunk, hands it to you, and you chew while standing. That’s trust. That’s tradition.
What It All Means: The Unspoken Deal
In Kenya, how you show up matters more than what you say.
You could have a perfect pitch deck. But if your energy’s off?
You’re getting ghosted — with a smile.
Faith means people believe in vibes and divine timing.
Fashionmeans they size you up before you open your mouth.
Food means deals are closed over goat, not coffee.
And if someone invites you to “come eat,” you’d better show up. That’s not small talk. That’s networking, Kenyan-style.
Fun Facts & Cultural Clues
- You’ll be judged (silently) if your shoes are dusty.
- There’s a “national” church service on TV every Sunday, and it has better production than CNN.
- Kenyan hair salons double as therapy centers and economic forecasting units.
- Street fashion and gospel music videos are neck and neck in creativity.
- There are at least two weddings every weekend per social circle. Minimum.
- Every second Nairobi resident is secretly a stylist, model, or content creator.
- Ugali and Sukuma Wiki (collard greens) are national identity, not just meals.
- Matatu artwork includes portraits of Tupac, Rihanna, Jesus, and occasionally, the president — all on the same vehicle.
Final Word: This Is More Than Style — It’s Structure
If you want to thrive in Kenya, learn the soft power rules:
- Dress like you mean business — even if you’re selling tomatoes.
- Respect religion — not as dogma, but as dialogue.
- Eat with people. It builds trust faster than PowerPoint.
You don’t have to fake being local.
Just don’t show up like the blueprint is universal.
Because in Kenya, everything speaks — your shoes, your handshake, your goat-handling technique.
This is part of country #88 for me — and still full of new lessons every hour.
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.