How to Choose Friends (Without Ruining Your Life or Soul)

How to Choose Friends (Without Ruining Your Life or Soul)

A Spiritual, Philosophical, and Satirical Survival Guide

By: John S. Morlu II, CPA

Let’s be honest.
We live in a world where your group chat might be dumber than your diary and your “friends” are mostly just people who watch your stories but never clap when you win.
So let’s fix that.

Because the Bible, Qur’an, Torah, Bhagavad Gita, Dhammapada, Thirukkural, Tao Te Ching, Confucius, Seneca, and even Machiavelli have been screaming the same thing for centuries:
Choose your friends wisely — or suffer the consequences.
Let’s break it down. No fluff. No holy-sounding lectures. Just timeless truth, some jokes, and a dose of spiritual common sense.

Bible: Choose Friends Who Make You Better, Not Bitter

The Bible doesn’t play.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” – Proverbs 13:20
Translation?
If your best friend thinks “crypto” is a breakfast cereal and “YOLO” is a business plan — you’re in trouble.
“Bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
You could be smart, grounded, even holy — but one group of clowns and you’ll start laughing at your own downfall.
And the Bible’s idea of friendship isn’t “just vibes.” It’s about discipleship, sharpening one another, and calling out the nonsense with love.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

Qur’an: Surround Yourself With the Righteous (Not Vibe Merchants)

The Qur’an is clear:
“Be with those who call on their Lord morning and evening.” – Surah Al-Kahf 18:28
In other words — don’t chill with people whose idea of purpose is just brunch, gossip, and fake-deep quotes on Instagram.
And…
“Do not take the disbelievers as allies instead of the believers.” – Surah An-Nisa 4:144
That doesn’t mean you isolate yourself. It means you protect your spiritual circle like it’s your last charge on 1% battery.
Faith is a flame. Some people are wind. Some are gasoline. Choose wisely.

Torah: Real Friends Stick. Fake Friends Flick.

Ancient Jewish wisdom drops this gem:
“Acquire for yourself a friend.” – Pirkei Avot 1:6
Yes, friendship is an investment, not a free trial. It requires discernment, loyalty, and emotional maturity. You’re not collecting followers — you’re building alliances of the soul.

“A man of many companions may come to ruin.” – Proverbs 18:24
Real talk: some people will screenshot your wins and never celebrate you.
You don’t need everyone. You need someone who’s there when you fail, not just when you flex.

Hinduism: Friendship Is Dharma (Not Drama)

The Bhagavad Gita reminds us that friends should support your path to self-realization.
A true friend is truthful, humble, calm, forgiving, and devoted. – Bhagavad Gita 12.13–14
Think Krishna and Arjuna — the original spiritual besties. Krishna literally drove Arjuna’s chariot into war while giving him therapy.

Also:
“Do not associate with the greedy, the jealous, or the cruel.” – Manusmriti
Because their karma becomes your drama.
And honestly, it’s hard to meditate when your group chat sounds like a live episode of
Real Housewives of Dysfunction.

Buddhism: Don’t Hang with Fools (Even If They’re Funny)

“If you find a wise companion… walk with them joyfully.” – Dhammapada 76
And if you don’t?
“Better to walk alone than with a fool.”
Facts.

Buddha’s Sigalovada Sutta breaks friends down into categories:
• The Helper (rides for you)
• The Loyal (never vanishes)
• The Mentor (corrects with kindness)
• The Protector (defends your name when you’re not around)

Avoid:
• The Flatterer
• The Parasite
• The Gossiper
• The Fair-weather fraud
Your path to enlightenment shouldn’t feel like group therapy with chaos goblins.

Stoicism: Don’t Befriend People Who Drain Your Battery

Seneca, that ancient Roman philosopher with eternal “no time for nonsense” energy, said:
“Associate with people who are likely to improve you.”

That’s it.
If you can’t learn from them, grow with them, or respect their hustle — what are you doing?
Epictetus added:
“Keep company with people who uplift you — whose presence inspires your best.”
Not those who keep you petty, distracted, or in WhatsApp fights at midnight.

Taoism: Go With the Flow… But Not With Every Fool

“The wise are not contentious.” – Tao Te Ching
Taoism teaches us to be at peace, to move like water — calm, adaptable, and pure.
So if your circle always brings thunderclouds, chaos, or some new drama arc every week — that’s not Tao. That’s a sitcom with bad writing.

“A good friend aligns with your nature, not your ego.”
Let your friendships be effortless, nourishing, and free of performative noise. The Tao doesn’t force connection. Neither should you.

Confucianism: Friendship Must Be Built on Virtue and Mutual Growth

Confucius — the OG life coach of East Asia — emphasized moral cultivation and harmony.
“Is it not a joy to have friends come from afar?” – Analects 1:1
He taught that friends are not just for laughs — they are part of your ethical development. True friends correct you, elevate you, and walk beside you through life’s rituals and roles.

“When you see a worthy person, think of how you can be like them. When you see an unworthy person, examine your own behavior.” – Analects 4:17
So, if you’re hanging with people who normalize lying, cheating, laziness, or loud ignorance — Confucius says that’s not friendship. That’s rot disguised as roast sessions.
Friendship, for Confucius, is a mirror. One that reflects both your potential and your flaws — gently, wisely, and without shame.

Machiavelli: Trust Carefully, Use Strategically

Now, for the coldest tea in the pot.
“Men are ungrateful, fickle, liars, and deceivers.” – The Prince
Machiavelli didn’t believe in fairy tales. He believed in power, survival, and calculated alliances.
Friendship?
Sure. But keep one eye open.
“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”
Moral? Don’t confuse smiles for loyalty. In politics, business, or ambition — trust is earned, not gifted. Keep your heart warm — but your strategy colder than iced espresso.

Tamil Kural (Thirukkural): Ancient Tamil Wisdom Still Wins

“Friendship with the wise is like the shade of a great tree — comforting in every season.” – Kural 786
Friendship, in Tamil philosophy, is about stability, trust, and nobility of character. It’s not situational. It’s season-proof.
“The wise examine character before making someone a friend.” – Kural 788
Because emotions lie. But actions reveal all.
And this gem?
“Do not befriend those who abandon you in hardship.” – Kural 799
Let that one sink in.
If they disappear in your valley — they don’t deserve the view from your mountain.

Fun Fact Corner:

  • Elephants mourn their dead. Humans? We invite toxic friends back into our lives with a selfie captioned: “Back like we never left!
  • Octopuses have nine brains but still live alone. Lesson? Maybe solitude isn’t so bad after all.
  • Dolphins have cliques and “best friends” they stay loyal to for life. If dolphins can commit — what’s your friend’s excuse?

Final Reality Check:

In a world full of influencers, followers, “vibes,” “link-ups,” and “situationships” — don’t forget:

  • Friendship is not a vibe.
  • It’s a responsibility.
  • Choose people who make you laugh with your soul, think with your brain, and grow with your heart.

And as Marcus Aurelius might say:
“If it is not right, do not do it.
If it is not true, do not say it.”
And if they’re not a real friend — don’t keep them.

The Bottom Line (Friendship Ledger)

Trait ✅ Keep ❌ Avoid
Loyal ❌ Flaky
Truthful ❌ Fake-nice
Uplifting ❌ Draining
Faithful ❌ Godless
Peaceful ❌ Drama-filled
Strategic (in love) ❌ Calculating (in malice)
Corrects with love ❌ Enables nonsense

Bonus Line You’ll Remember

“Show me your friends — and I’ll show you your future, your faith, your finances, and your emotional breakdown.”

So pick wisely.

Or as the streets say: “No new friends?” Nah. Just no dumb ones.

Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.

JS Morlu LLC is a top-tier accounting firm based in Woodbridge, Virginia, with a team of highly experienced and qualified CPAs and business advisors. We are dedicated to providing comprehensive accounting, tax, and business advisory services to clients throughout the Washington, D.C. Metro Area and the surrounding regions. With over a decade of experience, we have cultivated a deep understanding of our clients’ needs and aspirations. We recognize that our clients seek more than just value-added accounting services; they seek a trusted partner who can guide them towards achieving their business goals and personal financial well-being.
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