By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Picture this: a donkey — no ordinary donkey, but one blessed (or cursed) with perfect rationality. He’s plopped right in the middle of two identical piles of hay. Both equally green. Both equally fresh. Both equally chewable.
Now, in a sane world, the donkey would simply shrug, pick left or right, and chew happily until his jaw ached. But no, not Buridan’s ass. This donkey is a philosopher’s donkey. He insists on logic, reason, and airtight justification before every move. He examines. He calculates. He ponders the metaphysical equality of both haystacks.
And so, tragically, he starves to death. Surrounded by abundance. With food right in front of him. All because his brain demanded the perfect reason to prefer one pile over the other.
The Paradox in Plain English
The tale is pinned on Jean Buridan, a French philosopher in the 14th century, though earlier thinkers toyed with the idea. The paradox is a thought experiment about free will, decision-making, and rationality. It mocks the idea that pure rationality can guide you through life.
Because sometimes? Rationality doesn’t help. Sometimes everything is too equal, too balanced, too perfect. And in those moments, waiting for a logical reason to choose leads to paralysis.
Satirical Reality Check
Buridan’s ass isn’t just a donkey from medieval philosophy. It’s every person you know who:
- Can’t pick a restaurant because “all the Yelp reviews look the same.”
- Spends 3 weeks researching laptops and ends up with no laptop.
- Has 12 Netflix shows lined up and wastes the whole night scrolling.
- Won’t choose between two equally boring job offers, so remains unemployed.
- Stares at Airbnb for hours, torn between two identical apartments, until both get booked.
- Leaves a shopping cart full of sneakers or gadgets online for months, waiting for the “right moment,” until the model is discontinued.
And it’s not just personal. In business, Buridan’s ass wears a suit and tie:
- A CEO dithers between two markets, waiting for “perfect” data, until a competitor owns both.
- A board can’t decide between two merger offers, so both walk away.
- A startup founder spends years split between two product ideas, launching neither, while the runway burns out.
- A manager interviews two strong candidates but leaves the role empty for six months because “we just need one more round.”
- A government agency hires consultants for endless feasibility studies, only to still be in the “planning phase” when the funding expires.
We laugh at the donkey — but how many of us, and how many companies, are starving in our own way, trapped by indecision, drowning in options?
The Hidden Punchline
Buridan’s ass is the ultimate warning about modern life. Choice overload. Too many apps. Too many partners on dating platforms. Too many investment options. Too many brands of oat milk. Too many career “paths” that all look safe on LinkedIn. And in the name of being “rational,” people sit and stall until the hay rots.
The truth is, humans survive not because we always make the best choices, but because we make a choice. Action beats paralysis. Picking wrong and learning is better than sitting still and starving.
The Lesson
The donkey’s death is funny in the abstract, tragic in reality, and deeply human in its symbolism:
- Don’t worship perfect rationality — it’s a trap.
- Don’t wait for flawless certainty — you’ll never get it.
- And for heaven’s sake, when you’re stuck between two piles of hay, just pick one and eat.
Because in the end, Buridan’s ass didn’t die from lack of food. He died from lack of decision.
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.