By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Welcome to the global business obstacle course — where hiring in many developing countries isn’t “building a team”… it’s like signing up for a talent show where all the contestants call in sick.
It’s not HR. It’s HR-Hard Mode — a surreal blend of bureaucracy, magical disappearing employees, and payroll bills that read like ransom notes.
Think you’re hiring a software developer, an accountant, or a marketing expert?
Think again — you just bought a ticket to the world’s most expensive lottery.
But instead of winning cash, you get regret, labor disputes, and an annual invoice labeled “Cousin’s Funeral Leave – Extended Version.”
In our experience, 57% of time paid to foreign workers is unproductive. Ghost time. Dead air. The office version of buffering.
We’re talking about people being paid to:
- Wait for electricity to come back on (Power? Optional.)
- Recover from weddings that happened five days ago (Yes, it was a four-day celebration. Yes, they’re still tired.)
- Celebrate National Goat Appreciation Day (No goats were consulted. All businesses closed.)
And once you sprinkle in statutory leave, “emergency” absences, cultural days, spontaneous public holidays, and that famous 13th-month salary no one budgeted for — your total labor cost rockets up to 70% of salary paid… with no output to match.
That’s not employment.
That’s financial acupuncture with a rusty fork.
Trying to run a business like this is like trying to fill a bathtub with the drain wide open — while everyone around you insists you’re “building local capacity.”
Spoiler: You’re not.
You’re just funding a part-time workforce with full-time expectations and a PhD in leave applications.
The Holiday Hunger Games: Global Edition
In many developing countries, the holiday calendar is a masterpiece of avoidance.
- Public Holidays? 25 to 35 days a year.
- Vacation? 30+ mandatory days.
- Sick and Personal Leave? 20–30 days, and sometimes you don’t even need a doctor’s note — just vibes.
- Religious Holidays? Doubled if you’re in a multi-faith nation.
Oh — and don’t forget “bridging” holidays, where if a public holiday falls on a Thursday, Friday becomes “recovery day.”
Meanwhile, in the United States…
Fun Fact: The U.S. government recognizes 11 federal holidays. You know what’s wild? None of them are mandatory. Employers are not required to give them off.
That’s right — federal holidays in the U.S. are optional. Private businesses can decide whether to close or remain open. Some companies offer holiday pay. Some just say, “See you at 9 AM.” Welcome to capitalism, sweetie.
Real-World Absurdity: The Case of the Disappearing Employee
We once hired an employee in a developing country. Here’s how his first 90 days turned into a masterclass in payroll evaporation:
- Day 1–5: Training (showed up late, but hey — progress!)
- Day 6–12: National holidays (of course)
- Day 13–16: Sick leave (“typhoid” — self-diagnosed via WhatsApp)
- Day 17: Came in late, left early (urgent church program… on a Tuesday)
- Day 18–20: Cousin’s wedding (multi-day extravaganza, obviously)
- Day 21: Uncle’s funeral — again (this uncle seems to die a lot)
- Day 22–45: On leave due to stress (apparently weddings are emotionally devastating now)
- Day 46–90: Just… vanished. Like a magician with your money.
Guess what? Local labor law required 30 days’ notice to terminate.
So yes — we legally had to pay him for an extra month to continue being missing.
Case Study: Jane and the Mythical Full-Time Job
Let’s say you hire Jane for $1,000/month. Here’s where your money goes:
| Cost Category | Amount |
| Base Salary | $1,000 |
| Public Holiday Pay (not worked) | $200 |
| Vacation Pay (not worked) | $150 |
| Sick Leave and Personal Days | $120 |
| HR, Admin, and Legal Processing Fees | $100 |
| Mandatory Contributions (SSN, Pension, etc.) | $130 |
Total Cost: $1,700/month
Actual Work Days: 11 (on a good month)
Productivity Rating: Somewhere between “meh” and “please stop”
Bread, Circuses, and Banana Republic Labor Codes
Remember ancient Rome? When emperors couldn’t fix poverty, crime, or collapsing infrastructure, they invented a brilliant distraction: “bread and circuses” — free food, endless entertainment, and blood-sport binge-watching at the Colosseum. The goal? Keep the masses fed, drunk, distracted, and too confused to riot.
Fast forward a few centuries, and Emperor Constantine took it to the next level.
In the 4th century, he cleverly merged pagan festivals with Christianity and gave us what we now call Christmas — not just to celebrate Jesus, but to extend national festivities and give people another reason to stay out of the emperor’s business. It worked.
Food. Wine. Singing. No one noticed the empire was sinking — they were too busy decorating trees and nursing hangovers.
And those gladiator fights? They didn’t just last hours. Some ran for months. Literally months-long state-sponsored bloodbaths, all funded to distract the public from a collapsing economy and widening inequality. No governance? No problem — just throw another lion in the ring.
Sound familiar?
Today’s developing countries have upgraded the model.
Instead of swords and lions, we now have “paid leave and national processions.”
- Corruption too hard to fix?
Announce a “National Reflection Day.” - Unemployment too embarrassing?
Declare “International Youth Empowerment Week” — with parades. - Bad economic news?
Just give everyone a four-day weekend and call it “Founders’ Remembrance Festival.”
Governments too lazy or broke to provide basic services — roads, electricity, jobs, healthcare — now do the next best thing:
They outsource welfare to businesses.
Your business?
It’s not a company anymore. It’s a social program with a logo.
Your payroll is their poverty solution.
You’re not an entrepreneur. You’re an unwilling gladiator sponsor, and your profits are the ones getting slaughtered.
And Firing? You Might As Well Adopt Them
In many of these countries, firing someone is harder than applying for citizenship.
You’ll need:
- Written warnings documented over months
- Mediation with labor unions
- Approval from the labor commissioner
- Witnesses, legal letters, and a therapist on standby
- And in some places — literal severance rituals
Meanwhile, your now-ex-employee takes you to labor court and demands 8 months’ compensation for being “emotionally wounded by your lack of compassion.”
The Government Payroll Scheme: Sponsored by You
Let’s not sugarcoat it: these governments have created a Wealth State — not a welfare state. A system where private employers, the few brave enough to create jobs, are squeezed like ATMs to fund national fantasies of social equity.
You wanted to help?
You wanted to create opportunity?
Congratulations.
You’ve just been upgraded (without your consent) to a one-person donor agency.
You’re now World Bank, USAID, DFID, EU, and AfDB all rolled into one — except you don’t get the fancy acronyms or the press releases.
Just headaches. And monthly payrolls.
Your business card might say “Founder” or “CEO,” but what it really means is:
“Unofficial sponsor of paid non-work in the national economy.”
In some countries, foreign businesses have quietly packed up and fled, ghosting the market entirely. They didn’t even leave a breakup note — just boarded the plane, turned off their phones, and left the “wealth recipients” (a.k.a. employees) standing around in their freshly printed team polos… unemployed, uninsured, and blaming capitalism.
The Unspoken Logic (But We’ll Say It Anyway):
“You want to do business in my country? Great. Now pay my citizens not to work while I collect their votes.
Oh, and if you try to lay anyone off, we’ll fine you, sue you, and possibly shut you down for ‘noncompliance with social harmony initiatives.’”
A Special Shout-Out to Global Economists
You know unemployment is a disaster when even IMF and World Bank start rebranding failure.
They invented a term — “vulnerable employment” — because “70% joblessness” sounds too honest.
Vulnerable employment?
What is that, exactly?
“Work” that’s unstable, underpaid, and unproductive — like helping your cousin sell knock-off sneakers while calling yourself a “retail entrepreneur.”
Nice try.
The truth is: walk the streets of any major city in a developing country, and what you’ll see is clear —swarms of unemployed or underemployed youth pacing in flip-flops, hustling soft drinks, or staring at their phones waiting for a miracle — all while labor laws make it almost impossible for any sane employer to take a risk on hiring.
Why? Because the laws weren’t written to protect workers.
They were written to protect governments from being blamed for unemployment — by dumping the burden onto anyone foolish enough to start a business.
The Brutal Reality
Private businesses have become economic scapegoats, jobless welfare providers, and humanitarian organizations in disguise.
You wanted to solve poverty.
You got hit with:
- Mandatory holiday pay for national tree planting week
- Forced union negotiations with three employees
- Labor inspectors checking if the office has “spiritual rest space” for Friday prayers
Meanwhile, unemployment soars, businesses leave, and the youth remain idle — not because they’re lazy, but because the system made hiring them suicidal.
So here’s your award, dear entrepreneur:
A gold-plated invoice for your contribution to the national joblessness insurance program.
Paid monthly. No refunds.
Common Sense Exit Strategy
The trick is simple:
Don’t hire. License.
- Franchise your business.
- Sell distributor rights.
- Train local partners and walk away.
Let them own it. Let them run it. You support them strategically, not operationally.
That’s how you protect yourself and empower locals without being turned into a walking ATM.
Because in this climate, employment isn’t empowerment — it’s payroll purgatory.
The Harshest Comparison (With Humor)
| Category | United States | Typical Developing Country |
| Vacation | 10–15 days (Optional) | 30–45 days |
| Public Holidays | 11 (optional for employers) | 25–35 (mandatory) |
| Sick/Personal Leave | Limited, often unpaid | 20–30 days (paid) |
| Termination Process | Simple (at-will states) | Multi-step drama with legal landmines |
| Employer Burden | ~10–15% above salary | 50–70% above salary |
| Productivity | Generally predictable | Variable, unpredictable, unstable |
| Employee Loyalty | Earned over time | Demanded on Day 1 |
| Entitlement Mentality | Moderate | Sky-high with moral indignation |
Final Thought
If Rome collapsed under the weight of its own excesses, today’s developing countries are digging their own economic graves — not with shovels, but with public holidays, ghost salaries, and HR manuals thicker than their national constitutions.
They’ve perfected the art of appearing functional while slowly bleeding out their business class.
One “National Reflection Day” at a time.
One paid funeral leave for someone’s third uncle at a time.
One legally mandated “emotional wellness weekend” at a time.
And when it all comes crashing down — when the tax base erodes, foreign investors vanish, and youth unemployment hits 80% — you know what’ll happen?
They’ll blame… you.
The entrepreneur.
The employer.
The person who showed up every day and tried to build something.
The one who actually created jobs, paid salaries, and funded the feast while others demanded more free bread and louder circuses.
Because in this twisted economic opera, the villain is always the one who brought the chairs — not the ones who never sat down to work.
But don’t worry.
No one will protest that day.
Why?
It’ll be a public holiday in honor of “National Economic Self-Destruction Awareness Week.”
With full pay, of course.
It’ll be a national holiday.
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.
