By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Welcome to the Gomoa onion market, where prices obey a secret law of economics:
Onion Price = (Base Price) + (Car Tax) + (Accent Surcharge) + (Impatience Fee).
Show up shiny—price goes spicy. Show up dusty—price gets friendly. Let’s play to win (and cry fewer tears than the onions).
The Market Metaverse (Cast of Characters)
- Madam Measure-By-Bowl: Measures with a metal bowl that’s somehow bigger for her favorite customers. Be that customer.
- Uncle Wholesale: Quiet, bulk only, hates haggling. Loves exact cash.
- Price Announcer Child: “Aunty, 50!” then winks at you like a tiny CFO.
- The Wrapper Commander: The one with string and sack skills. Your best friend after the deal.
Fun fact: In onion markets, the scale is vibes, the bowl is policy, and the wink is law.
Why Car = Costly (a.k.a. The Car-Tax Phenomenon)
Sellers are human economists. If they see:
- A car key dangling,
- A fresh polo shirt,
- Sunglasses that say “diaspora,”
they add the “Clearly, you can afford it” premium.
Translation: Park far. Walk in. Become Aunty Foot-Subsidy.
The Disappearing-Car Strategy (Step-by-Step)
1. Park away—by the trotro stop or a side street. No “I’m rich” parking at the gate.
2. Dress neutral: Faded tee, comfy sandals, no perfume that announces your net worth.
3. Small notes only: 1s, 5s, 10s, 20s. Big notes cause “change is walking” delays.
4. Keep the phone low: If your phone has three cameras, keep it shy.
5. Scout first: Ask two stalls for price. Smile. Nod. Don’t love out loud.
6. Buy + Go: After paying, call your “transporter” (friend, boda, or yourself) to bring the car close for pickup. Ninja-level logistics.
Bonus move: Carry a reusable sack. People price sacks lower than handbags.
The Bargain Script (Screenshot This)
- You: “Good morning, madam. Please, how much for one bowl?”
- Seller: “50.”
- You (smile): “Ei, why? I saw 38 just now.”
- Seller: “Okay, bring 42.”
- You (hold cash): “I have 35 now. I’ll add 2 for string.”
- Seller (laughing): “Ah, take 38. I’ll dash small.”
- You: “God bless your market!” (Now you belong.)
Note: Never say, “I drove here.” You walked here. You are cardio.
Sample Price Physics (Illustration Only)
- You + car keys + hurry: Bowl at “tourist” price.
- You + walk-in + greeting in Twi: Price melts 10–15%.
- You + bulk + exact cash: Another 5–10% off + free tiny onions (the “stew starter” dash).
Tiny Twi boost: - “Maakye, madam.” (Good morning.)
- “Mepɛ sika ketewa so.” (I’m on a small budget.)
- “Fa kyɛ me kakra.” (Please reduce small.)
Respect unlocks discount mode.
Onion Buying Playbook (Pro Moves)
- Go early: Morning prices are cooler than afternoon tempers.
- Bundle buy: Onions + tomatoes + pepper = combo discount.
- Ask for “sorting” option: Slightly smaller onions are cheaper and cook faster.
- Check the bottom of the sack: If it smells like secrets, negotiate like a lawyer.
- Buy two grades: Big ones for slicing, small ones for stews. Kitchens love options.
Fun fact: Onions lose weight while stored (they “breathe”). Bulk buyers—factor in shrinkage so your profit doesn’t evaporate like steam.
Logistics (So the Car Doesn’t Snitch)
- Finalize deal.
- Step aside, call your driver/self.
- Seller ties sacks.
- Car pulls up only when the goods are ready.
- Load fast, wave like a champion, exit like a rumor.
Example: Two sacks = one quick pickup. If asked, “Is that your car?”
Reply: “It’s the transporter’s.” (Accurate. You transported it.)
Storage & Spoilage: Keep Your Winnings
- Cool, dry, airy: Onions fear damp floors and clingy plastic.
- Crates > heap: Airflow saves marriages and onions.
- First-in, first-out: Use the older, softer ones first—perfect for stews.
- Separate the drama: Remove any soft or sprouting onions ASAP. Bad company corrupts good produce.
Chef tip: Slice and freeze extras in zip bags for “I’m tired but I want stew” nights.
Real-Life Scenes You’ll Definitely See
- The “Dubai Bowl”: One bowl looks bigger than the other. It is. That one is for loyal customers and good jokes.
- The Price Echo: You ask price at Stall A; Stall B shouts the new price before you arrive. Market Wi-Fi.
- The String Negotiation: “Madam, add string free so I’ll remember you.” It works 8/10 times and makes great selfies.
Micro-Business Angle (Because We Count)
- Buy low (walk-in), sell later (evening): Small retail flips to neighbors or restaurants.
- Bundle packs: “Stew packs” (onion + tomato + pepper) at a flat price—time is money, taste is science.
- Delivery whisperer: WhatsApp group + weekly drops = steady side income. Onions are recession-proof tears.
Rookie Mistakes (Avoid and Prosper)
- Flashing your key fob like it’s a business card.
- Saying “I must buy today.” (Prices jump like rabbits.)
- Paying before checking the bottom layer.
- Big notes in a busy lane—your change is now exploring the market.
- Arguing loudly. Sweet beats heat in every market on Earth.
Final Word
Yes, buying onions is more expensive when they know you have a car. So don’t let them know.
Park far. Walk in. Greet well. Pay smart. Load fast.
You’ll leave with cheaper onions, a new market auntie, and a story that doesn’t end with, “Why did I pay that?”
Now wipe your eyes—it was the onions, not the price.
📖 Coming Up Next: Chapter 31: “Don’t Exploit Me!” — cried the Foreigner
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.