A diagnostic tool for entrepreneurs who don’t want to babysit survivalists with payroll money.
By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Introduction: Why This Test Exists
Every entrepreneur eventually learns the same painful truth: you don’t just hire employees — you adopt their morality.
And in a world where most people are still stuck in Kohlberg’s preconventional morality stage, that means you’re often paying adults who think like toddlers with salaries, titles, and access to your office Wi-Fi.
Let’s be blunt:
- Some staff only behave when a stick is raised.
- Others see your payroll as a survival lottery.
- Many just want validation, selfies, and free snacks.
- A precious few… actually think long-term and do the right thing even when nobody’s watching.
But here’s the kicker: you can’t tell who’s who from a CV, a handshake, or a LinkedIn profile stuffed with buzzwords. Everyone can spell “integrity.” Few can live it.
That’s why this test exists.
It’s not a standard “personality quiz.” It’s a satirical X-ray for the soul of your workforce. Twenty scenarios — from lost wallets to fake sick days to promotion temptations — designed to smoke out whether your candidate is:
- Stage 1: A survivalist hyena — will eat the business one pen at a time.
- Stage 2: A mercenary vending machine — always asking “What’s in it for me?”
- Stage 3: A clout chaser in business casual.
- Stage 4: A bureaucrat worshipping rules.
- Stage 5: A rare unicorn who builds, protects, and thinks long-term.
- Stage 6: A saint — rarer than a snow leopard in the Sahara.
Take it. Share it. Use it. But above all, remember: if you don’t measure the morality of who you hire, you’ll end up financing their survival schemes while your dream slowly bleeds to death.
Section A: The Missing Wallet Test
Q1. You find a wallet with $200 in the office bathroom. No cameras. No one saw you. What do you do?
- A. Keep it. Buy lunch for myself. (Stage 1: No cameras = no rules)
- B. Keep $100, return the rest. (Stage 2: Negotiated morality, survival discount applied)
- C. Post a photo of the wallet on social media: “Look how honest I am!” (Stage 3: Validation is the reward)
- D. Quietly return it to HR. (Stage 4: Rules say I must)
- E. Return it and remind HR to create a policy about lost property. (Stage 5: Social contract thinker)
- F. Return it anonymously without credit. (Stage 6: Principles > Recognition)
Section B: The Boss’s Mistake Test
Q2. Your boss makes a mistake that will cost the company $5,000 if not corrected. Do you:
- A. Say nothing. Not my problem. (Stage 1: Avoid punishment, avoid involvement)
- B. Hint at it only if I’ll be rewarded. (Stage 2: “Pay me in honesty tokens”)
- C. Tell coworkers about it first, then act like a hero when I bring it up later. (Stage 3: Drama + credit hunting)
- D. Send an email correction citing “company policy.” (Stage 4: Rule-based whistleblowing)
- E. Calmly explain and propose a fix for the future. (Stage 5: Thinking long-term)
- F. Correct it even if it risks upsetting the boss. (Stage 6: Principle over comfort)
Section C: The Office Supplies Dilemma
Q3. You take home a company pen. Nobody notices. Do you:
- A. Take more tomorrow. It’s free stationery season! (Stage 1)
- B. Use it until ink runs out, then bring it back proudly. (Stage 2)
- C. Snap a selfie: “Look, my company trusts me with pens!” (Stage 3)
- D. Return it after feeling guilty. (Stage 4)
- E. Buy your own pen to avoid blurring lines. (Stage 5)
- F. Create a system to track pens so this never happens again. (Stage 6 — saint mode)
Section D: The Gossip Gauntlet
Q4. A colleague tells you the boss is “stingy and clueless.” Do you:
- A. Agree loudly. Maybe add your own insults. (Stage 1: Avoid social punishment)
- B. Stay quiet, but save the gossip for leverage later. (Stage 2: Blackmail potential)
- C. Laugh, record it, then later show the boss while pretending loyalty. (Stage 3: Double-agent behavior)
- D. Say, “We shouldn’t gossip. It’s unprofessional.” (Stage 4: Policy cop)
- E. Privately tell the boss: “You may want to know about morale issues.” (Stage 5: Constructive honesty)
- F. Defend the absent person, even if it costs you popularity. (Stage 6: Integrity without audience)
Section E: The “Free Money” Trap
Q5. Payroll accidentally pays you double. Do you:
- A. Withdraw it immediately before they notice. (Stage 1: Strike fast)
- B. Keep half, return half — you know, fairness. (Stage 2: DIY Robin Hood logic)
- C. Tell everyone about it before HR fixes it. (Stage 3: Clout cash)
- D. Inform HR because “it’s the right process.” (Stage 4: Compliance mode)
- E. Return it and suggest an accounting check system. (Stage 5: Long-term benefit)
- F. Return it instantly, saying: “This is not mine.” (Stage 6: Saints don’t cash errors)
Section F: The Fake Sick Day Test
Q6. You want a day off but have no leave. Do you:
- A. Call in sick, then go shopping downtown. (Stage 1: Rule-breaking ninja)
- B. Fake illness but offer to “work from home” if someone sends you food. (Stage 2: Survival negotiation)
- C. Post your beach photos with #sickleave. (Stage 3: Clout > Consistency)
- D. Submit formal request with forged doctor’s note. (Stage 4: Bureaucratic lying)
- E. Ask openly: “Can I swap shifts or borrow leave days?” (Stage 5: Contract thinking)
- F. Just say: “I don’t have leave. I’ll come anyway.” (Stage 6: Self-sacrifice for duty)
Section G: The Corporate Credit Card Conundrum
Q7. You’re given a corporate card for business lunch. The bill is $40. Do you:
- A. Swipe $80, pocket the rest. (Stage 1: Fast cash grab)
- B. Add a dessert “because I deserve it.” (Stage 2: Mini reward mindset)
- C. Post selfies with the meal captioned “#BossLife.” (Stage 3: Performance mode)
- D. Pay the exact $40 and submit receipts. (Stage 4: Policy compliance)
- E. Return $40 change with an expense report suggesting cost-saving ideas. (Stage 5: Ethical + strategic)
- F. Refuse to use card unnecessarily: “This was a personal coffee, not company expense.” (Stage 6: Integrity, pure)
Section H: The Time Theft Trick
Q8. Your job ends at 5:00 PM. At 4:30, you’ve finished tasks. Do you:
- A. Leave early. Who cares? (Stage 1)
- B. Pretend to work, scroll Instagram. (Stage 2)
- C. Gossip with coworkers until clock-out. (Stage 3)
- D. Sit at your desk doing nothing because “rules say 5:00.” (Stage 4)
- E. Ask if you can help another team or prep tomorrow’s tasks. (Stage 5)
- F. Create new efficiency system to save 30 mins daily for everyone. (Stage 6)
Section I: The Bribe Temptation
Q9. A vendor offers you $50 “thank you” to speed up their paperwork. Do you:
- A. Take it, buy lunch. (Stage 1)
- B. Take it but split with coworkers. (Stage 2)
- C. Pretend to reject it, but hint for “something bigger.” (Stage 3)
- D. Report it to HR because policy forbids gifts. (Stage 4)
- E. Refuse and suggest transparent vendor process. (Stage 5)
- F. Publicly denounce bribery even if it costs your job. (Stage 6)
Section J: The Office Romance Rule
Q10. You fall for a coworker. Company policy forbids it. Do you:
- A. Hide it, break rules. (Stage 1: Secret love is survival love)
- B. Pursue them anyway but expect perks: “I’ll get insider info.” (Stage 2)
- C. Flirt openly for office gossip points. (Stage 3)
- D. Report to HR and ask to be reassigned. (Stage 4)
- E. Request policy review: “Adults can date responsibly.” (Stage 5)
- F. Avoid altogether, choosing duty over desire. (Stage 6)
Section K: The Company Laptop Test
Q11. You’re issued a laptop. Do you:
- A. Install pirated movies. (Stage 1)
- B. Use it for side hustle at night. (Stage 2)
- C. Stream Netflix loudly in office. (Stage 3)
- D. Only use approved apps. (Stage 4)
- E. Suggest productivity tools that benefit everyone. (Stage 5)
- F. Refuse personal use completely: “Company asset is sacred.” (Stage 6)
Section L: The “Boss Is Away” Scenario
Q12. The boss travels for two weeks. Do you:
- A. Come late, leave early. (Stage 1)
- B. Work only enough to avoid suspicion. (Stage 2)
- C. Throw office parties in their absence. (Stage 3)
- D. Maintain normal hours to avoid HR notices. (Stage 4)
- E. Keep productivity steady and encourage colleagues. (Stage 5)
- F. Increase output to prove integrity matters more than surveillance. (Stage 6)
Section M: The Lost USB Drive Test
Q13. You find a colleague’s USB with confidential data. Do you:
- A. Check files for gossip. (Stage 1)
- B. Copy anything useful. (Stage 2)
- C. Use it as blackmail leverage. (Stage 3)
- D. Return it sealed to IT. (Stage 4)
- E. Alert them and recommend data encryption. (Stage 5)
- F. Delete sensitive info before returning, protecting company at own risk. (Stage 6)
Section N: The Customer Complaint
Q14. A client yells at you unfairly. Do you:
- A. Yell back. Survival of loudest. (Stage 1)
- B. Apologize insincerely just to close sale. (Stage 2)
- C. Complain about them to colleagues later. (Stage 3)
- D. Follow complaint protocol exactly. (Stage 4)
- E. Calmly de-escalate, protect company reputation. (Stage 5)
- F. Defend truth, even if it loses the client. (Stage 6)
Section O: The Training Program
Q15. Company pays for a 3-day training. Do you:
- A. Skip half sessions. Free vacation! (Stage 1)
- B. Attend but use materials for side hustle. (Stage 2)
- C. Take selfies to prove attendance. (Stage 3)
- D. Attend diligently to obey rules. (Stage 4)
- E. Share knowledge with team afterwards. (Stage 5)
- F. Volunteer to teach a workshop, spreading impact. (Stage 6)
Section P: The “Extra Budget” Decision
Q16. Your department has leftover funds. Do you:
- A. Spend on random perks. (Stage 1)
- B. Split among staff quietly. (Stage 2)
- C. Buy branded T-shirts to show off. (Stage 3)
- D. Return funds to Finance. (Stage 4)
- E. Propose reinvestment into long-term tools. (Stage 5)
- F. Redirect to ethical cause without credit. (Stage 6)
Section Q: The Parking Lot Temptation
Q17. Reserved spot is empty. Do you:
- A. Park anyway. Who’ll stop me? (Stage 1)
- B. Park there but move car before boss arrives. (Stage 2)
- C. Park there and brag: “VIP today!” (Stage 3)
- D. Avoid it strictly, it’s policy. (Stage 4)
- E. Request clearer parking rules. (Stage 5)
- F. Park elsewhere, even inconvenient, to respect fairness. (Stage 6)
Section R: The Expense Claim Trick
Q18. You traveled and spent $100. Receipt says $80. Do you:
- A. Claim $100. Pocket difference. (Stage 1)
- B. Claim $90 — “not greedy.” (Stage 2)
- C. Tell colleagues you “outsmarted finance.” (Stage 3)
- D. Claim exact $80. (Stage 4)
- E. Claim $80 and suggest digitized claims. (Stage 5)
- F. Return $80 cash immediately, refusing reimbursement. (Stage 6)
Section S: The Office Party Alcohol Test
Q19. Open bar at company event. Do you:
- A. Drink until collapse. (Stage 1)
- B. Drink max to “get value.” (Stage 2)
- C. Drink for Instagram stories. (Stage 3)
- D. Drink moderately, HR watching. (Stage 4)
- E. Encourage moderation to keep professionalism. (Stage 5)
- F. Refuse free alcohol if it risks company image. (Stage 6)
Section T: The Promotion Temptation
Q20. You’re offered a promotion but know a colleague is more qualified. Do you:
- A. Take it instantly. Free upgrade! (Stage 1)
- B. Take it but expect the colleague to do most work. (Stage 2)
- C. Take it, brag online. (Stage 3)
- D. Accept because rules reward seniority. (Stage 4)
- E. Decline, recommend the colleague. (Stage 5)
- F. Decline outright, saying “integrity over title.” (Stage 6)
Scoring the Jungle (unchanged)
- Mostly A/B answers: Survivalists. They’ll eat your business one snack at a time.
- Mostly C answers: Social performers. Great for gossip and office drama. Hire only if you need a reality show.
- Mostly D answers: Bureaucrats. Safe but stagnant. Good for HR, terrible for innovation.
- Mostly E answers: Builders. Long-term thinkers, rare and valuable. Give them shares.
- Mostly F answers: Saints. Extremely rare. If you find one, guard them with your life — or lose them to the UN, the Vatican, or a higher-paying NGO.
Author: John S. Morlu II, CPA is the CEO and Chief Strategist of JS Morlu, leads a globally recognized public accounting and management consultancy firm. Under his visionary leadership, JS Morlu has become a pioneer in developing cutting-edge technologies across B2B, B2C, P2P, and B2G verticals. The firm’s groundbreaking innovations include AI-powered reconciliation software (ReckSoft.com) and advanced cloud accounting solutions (FinovatePro.com), setting new industry standards for efficiency, accuracy, and technological excellence.