By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
🌍 Bonus Fun Fact: Nairobi is a true global village — you’ll find people from every race and nearly every nationality living, working, hustling, and dancing here. From Americans to Chinese, Somali to Indian, British to Congolese — it’s like a live-action United Nations with better weather and way better food.
Kenya is many things — a tech hub, a tourist haven, a business gateway — but above all, it’s a beautiful mess of cultures.
In this one country, you’ll find over 40 ethnic groups, each with its own language, traditions, and food (and yes, everyone thinks theirs is the best). Kenya isn’t a salad bowl — it’s a full-blown buffet with everything from ugali to biryani, nyama choma to chapati. It’s like walking into a party where everyone brought their grandma’s best recipe — and wants you to declare it the national dish.
You’ve Got:
- Kikuyus making money and buying land like Monopoly was inspired by them.
- Luos dropping British-accented English like they invented Shakespeare, with swagger that could power the national grid.
- Kalenjins running marathons like it’s just morning cardio — literally running from one county to another before breakfast.
- Luhyas demanding chicken at every meal, funeral, wedding, or family meeting. If there’s no chicken, there’s no peace.
- And Coastal Swahili culture gently infusing everything with rhythm, spice, and enough chill to turn traffic into meditation.
🧠 Fun Fact: Kenya has two national languages — English and Swahili — but don’t be surprised if a third language (like Sheng, the youth slang) jumps into the conversation mid-sentence. And in Nairobi, someone will hit you with, “Unakamu leo ama ni joke?” (Are you coming today or just joking?) and expect you to decode it without blinking.
🕌 Churches, mosques, temples — all living side by side. On one street, you’ll hear worship music, the call to prayer, and someone blasting reggae from a matatu, all within 30 seconds.
👗 Fashion is elite and hybrid. You’ll see Maasai beads paired with Nike kicks, Kitenge trousers on DJs, and full tuxedos at baby showers. Sometimes, someone might show up in a three-piece suit… just to buy airtime.
🗣️ Satirical Twist: In Kenya, if you don’t speak at least three languages by the age of 10, they question your patriotism. The school system demands it. Your grandmother demands it. Even your neighbor’s parrot can greet you in Sheng, Swahili, and English.
🍲 Street food is a spiritual experience — samosas, smoky mutura (local sausage a.k.a. “African hotdog”), mandazi (Kenyan doughnut), and coconut mahamri. Nairobi’s chili can make grown men cry. If you survive mutura without looking suspiciously around for a pharmacy, you’re officially a local.
📻 Bonus Tidbit: There’s always a wedding somewhere — and if you’re walking on a Saturday, you may accidentally get recruited into a bridal dance line. Yes, even in jeans.
Kenya’s Biggest Strength? Unity in Diversity.
Despite historical and political divisions, Kenyans come together for elections (where tension feels like Netflix suspense), for football (Go Harambee Stars!), and always for weddings with 800 guests minimum — because why invite 100 when your extended cousin’s landlord’s niece also needs to eat?
💡 Fun Fact: In Kenya, you don’t RSVP for a wedding. You just show up — preferably hungry — and expect food and a party.
🤝 This mash-up of cultures is what makes Kenya magical. Tribal identity and national pride mix in ways that create an energy you can’t bottle — but you’ll definitely feel.
Kenya doesn’t just tolerate its differences — it thrives on them. It doesn’t blend cultures gently — it stirs them with a mwiko (cooking stick), adds pili pili (chili), and serves them hot.
That’s what makes it a true cultural melting pot — not just of East Africa, but of the world.
And that wraps up Chapter Thirty of My Kenya.
What a ride. What a country.
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.