By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
Kenya’s big three cities are like siblings raised in the same household but with totally different personalities.
Nairobi – The Hustler Capital
This is the engine of East Africa. Nairobi doesn’t sleep — it barely blinks. It’s where meetings happen at Java, deals are signed over chai, and your Uber ride is stuck in traffic even before you book it.
- Fun Fact: Nairobi is the only city in the world where you can see lions in a national park while sitting in traffic.
- Interesting Tidbit: Locals say Nairobi is “the city under construction.” By the time one building is finished, three new ones have started.
- Satirical Note: Nairobians walk fast, talk fast, and date faster. Blink, and someone’s upgraded from Tinder to baby shower.
- Cultural Curveball: Nairobi is the only place where you’ll hear Swahili, English, Sheng, Kikuyu, and three job offers in one matatu ride.
- Reality Check: Rent in Nairobi can cost more than your cousin’s tuition — and he’s studying in Canada.
Mombasa – The Coastal Queen
Hot, humid, and humming with culture. Mombasa is where time slows down, and even your emails take a vacation.
- Fun Fact: Mombasa has a strong Swahili and Arab influence. Spices here are considered part of the local currency.
- Interesting Tidbit: You haven’t been to Mombasa until you’ve tried the street food — especially viazi karai (fried potatoes dipped in batter). Your taste buds will thank you. Your stomach might not.
- Satirical Note: Mombasa is so chill, even the traffic cops take breaks to chat in the shade. Try arguing with one and you might end up invited to their cousin’s wedding.
- Beach Wisdom: Everyone in Mombasa has at least one beach photo with sunglasses and motivational captions like “Living my best life.”
- Climate Comedy: Mombasa is hot 24/7 — if you’re not sweating, check if you’re alive.
Kisumu – The Lakeside Charmer
Kisumu is bold, unapologetic, and deeply proud. It sits by the shores of Lake Victoria like it owns the place — and maybe it does.
- Fun Fact: Kisumu is famous for its fresh fish and fierce politics.
- Interesting Tidbit: Tilapia from Lake Victoria is considered elite. Locals swear it tastes better because the fish were “educated.”
- Satirical Note: Kisumu residents believe if Nairobi had Lake Victoria, it still wouldn’t know what to do with it. And they’re probably right.
- Bonus Geography: Kisumu is so close to Uganda, you could throw a chapati and hit international waters.
- Insider Tip: If you go to Kisumu and don’t eat fish by the lake while debating politics — did you even go?
Final Word
Each city offers a unique flavor of Kenya — Nairobi is the engine, Mombasa is the soul, and Kisumu is the fire. Visit all three, and you’ll understand why Kenya doesn’t just function — it thrives, dances, debates, and sometimes screams in all the best ways.
You don’t just visit these cities — you survive, adapt, and come back with stories your hometown can’t handle.
Next up in Chapter Twenty-Four:
“How to Start a Business in Kenya.”
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.