By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
If you haven’t had Nyama Choma in Kenya, have you even lived?
Kenya’s culinary scene isn’t just food — it’s flavor, community, and a full-on experience. Meals here are not quiet affairs. They’re noisy, joyous, and occasionally chaotic, with debates louder than the radio and jokes that could qualify for political asylum.
Nyama Choma – The King of Kenyan Cuisine
Nyama Choma means “roasted meat” in Swahili. Usually goat or beef. It’s the crown jewel of Kenyan meals. Charred outside, juicy inside, and always served with salt, kachumbari (a spicy tomato-onion salad), and pride.
No Kenyan gathering is complete without it — weddings, funerals, political rallies, World Cup heartbreaks, breakups… you name it.
Fun Fact: The best Nyama Choma spots are often found next to car washes or hidden behind petrol stations. If your shoes stick to the floor a little, you’ve found the right place. Extra points if there’s a guy outside sharpening a knife while discussing Manchester United’s chances.
Ugali – The Foundation of Strength
Ugali is Kenya’s daily bread. Made from maize flour and water, it looks like a dense white cake but eats like a warrior’s fuel.
You don’t eat Ugali with a fork. That’s considered an insult to both the food and the ancestors. You break it with your hand, mold it like playdough, and use it to scoop up everything else.
Fun Fact: Ugali is Kenya’s national lie detector. If someone tells you they’re full but their plate still has Ugali — they’re lying.
Ugali Texture Scale:
- Too soft: You’re a beginner. Start again.
- Just right: You’re marriage material.
- Too hard: Seek therapy. Life has been unkind.
Sukuma Wiki – Stretching the Week
Literally meaning “push the week,” Sukuma Wiki is sautéed kale or collard greens that help you survive until payday. It’s delicious, nutritious, and often cooked with onions, tomatoes, and whatever dreams are left in the fridge.
Fun Fact: Sukuma Wiki has fed more students than student loans. It’s also the official meal of “I’ll pay you next week.”
Extra Tidbit: There are at least 42 ways to cook Sukuma Wiki, and every mother believes her version will resurrect your GPA.
Eating Etiquette
- Talking while eating is fine. Talking with food in your mouth? That’s how you lose friends and gain rumors.
- Always wash your hands before eating — not because of germs, but because your auntie is watching.
- Second servings are mandatory. Declining might be seen as an insult, or worse — proof you ate elsewhere.
Bonus Tidbits:
- Chapati in Kenya is more than food — it’s romance, negotiation, and sometimes bribery. “I’ll do it for two chapos” is a valid contract. Three chapatis can seal a business deal.
- Kenyan tea (chai) is 90% milk, 10% tea, 100% national identity. If it doesn’t make your tongue think you licked a cow, it’s not real chai.
- Pilau, a spiced rice dish, comes with family secrets. If you cook it wrong, expect a stern look and whispered gossip at the family WhatsApp group.
The Unofficial Menu
- Githeri: A humble beans and maize combo that somehow tastes better on campus floors.
- Mandazi: Kenya’s answer to the doughnut. Sweet, affordable, and 87% air.
- Smokie Pasua: A street delicacy where a smokie is sliced, stuffed with kachumbari, and handed to you with the confidence of Michelin cuisine.
Final Word
Kenyan food is not just nourishment — it’s identity. It’s how people bond, fight, make peace, and remember home. It’s laughter served on plates. Stories shared through bites.
Come hungry. Leave happy. And for the love of all things sacred — use your hands.
Next up in Chapter Eighteen:
“Transport Chronicles – Matatus, Boda Bodas, and Why Google Maps Can’t Help You Here.”
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.
