By: John S. Morlu II, CPA
English is Kenya’s official language, but don’t let that fool you — the way it’s spoken here is uniquely Kenyan, flavored with cultural spice, sharp wit, and occasional linguistic acrobatics.
Whether you’re in Nairobi, Kisumu, or the countryside, English here takes on forms that are functional, funny, and often fearless.
The Accent That Humbles All
Kenyan English has a rhythm. It’s polite but firm, rapid but clear. Some Kenyans roll their R’s like they’re warming up for a boxing match. Others drop consonants with elegance.
Say “How are you?” and expect to hear “I’m fine,” even when they’re visibly angry, holding a broken umbrella, and stuck in traffic.
The accent isn’t just about how words sound. It’s about how confidence carries them. A Kenyan can mispronounce a word so powerfully you’ll doubt your own dictionary.
Fun Fact: In Kenya, someone can say “suspicious” as “sus-pish-wee-ous” and you’ll still be convinced it’s correct. That’s linguistic confidence.
Sayings That Deserve a UN Archive
Kenyan English sayings are the stuff of genius. Here are a few crowd favorites:
- “Why are you behaving like a visitor?” – Used when you’re too shy to eat or speak up. Also, a low-key threat.
- “You’re wasting my bundles” – Translation: Stop sending me long messages or videos. Data is precious.
- “He has money, but no manners” – The ultimate burn. Wealth without humility is useless here.
- “Even me I was shocked” – Used even when the person is clearly not shocked but wants to stir drama.
Fun Fact: A simple phrase like “I’m just there” can mean anything from “I’m okay” to “I’ve lost all hope and am emotionally bankrupt” depending on tone and facial expression.
Grammar Gymnastics
Kenyans have a gift for reengineering grammar. A few classics:
- “You people of today…” – A general statement when someone under 40 does something suspicious.
- “Me, I was just there.” – Redundant? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.
- “Is it a must?” – A rhetorical jab when someone’s being too pushy.
- “You are eating like someone who has been in jail” – A culinary compliment and insult in one.
Bonus: Kenyans can use “even” anywhere in a sentence and it will still make sense. Example: “Even me I didn’t even know she was even coming.”
Sheng: The Street Dialect of the Cool
Sheng is Nairobi’s unofficial second language. A mix of Swahili, English, and whatever else sounds fire at the time. It evolves faster than software updates.
Today’s “Niaje?” (What’s up?) becomes “Sasa?” tomorrow and “Form ni gani?” the next week. If you’re still saying “Niaje” in 2025, you may need a language reboot.
If you want to feel young in Kenya, learn Sheng. If you want to feel old, try using it with teenagers. They’ll laugh and send you back to WhatsApp groups for aunties.
Fun Fact: Sheng has words that mean the opposite depending on your neighborhood. “Mbwakni” can mean cool or absolutely terrible — choose wisely.
Extra Fun Facts & Tidbits:
- The word “just” is used to soften every insult. “You’re just useless” somehow feels lighter, even kind.
- Kenyans can say “Let me call you back” and mean “Never again.”
- Email closings include “Kindly do the needful” — a phrase so polite, no one knows what it means, but you’d better do it.
- Saying “He’s around” means the person is either five minutes away or in Mombasa.
- “You know these Nairobi people…” is a statement that needs no explanation but carries deep suspicion.
Phone Etiquette (or lack thereof)
- Calling someone more than twice means it’s an emergency. Or you’re about to be blocked.
- No one says goodbye. Calls just end. You either hang up, run out of airtime, or both silently agree that the conversation is over.
- Funniest phrase during poor reception: “Hallo? Hallo? I can’t hear you but I can feel you!”
Final Word
In Kenya, English is more than a language. It’s a performance. A comedy show. A cultural fingerprint.
It’s not about grammar — it’s about vibe. It’s not about accent — it’s about delivery. Whether you’re asking for directions or dodging a boda boda, the English you hear (and speak) will be unforgettable.
Next up in Chapter Sixteen:
“The Hustle is Real – Side Gigs, Jua Kali, and Kenya’s Entrepreneurial Spirit.”
About the Author
John is an entrepreneur, strategist, and founder of JS Morlu, LLC, a Virginia based CPA firm with multiple software ventures including www.FinovatePro.com, www.Recksoft.com and www.Fixaars.com . With operations spanning multiple countries, John is on a mission to build global infrastructure that empowers small businesses, entrepreneurs, and professionals to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. He believes in hard truths, smart execution, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When he’s not writing or building, he’s challenging someone to a productivity contest—or inventing software that automates it.
